When the world around you collapses

It still to this day never ceases to amaze me of how my journaling transitions in my time of talking- or should I say writing out my feelings and thoughts to God. I go from darkness and turn towards the light, my writing turns into sounding something like: Why did he choose that, did he not know how that would hurt me? This is so unfair and I am so done and over this, I am ready to give up on the us I chose. To…God, hear my heart, I know your will is bigger for me than I can fathom right now. I don’t know why my husband chose to do this, but I lift it in your hands, I know you will resolve this issue in your timing. I am choosing to rest in your love and peace, I am choosing to turn my mind from the negative to your word.
If I feel called, I also find scripture to cling to, sometimes for hours, days, weeks in the hurt and waiting. I when faced with negative thoughts that creep back in, recall or pull out my post it note and remind myself that scripture. Am I perfect with every negative thought and shutting down that mental stress immediately? Absolutely not! I sometimes find myself spewing for quite awhile before I recall to fix my thinking process, and this is something I easily fluster about myself! Grace is key in that respect of myself! I love my Prayer Journal, it is really neat to also look back at past journaling. It is really neat to see how and what God answered, what he continued to close the door on, and how I transitioned in life’s tumultuous journey. God is so good, and the blessing we endure are too many not to acknowledge or praise Him for!